What #blacklivesmatter is Teaching Me about Teaching Yoga
Let’s be real— Yoga in America just isn’t working. We preach compassion, non-violence and a spiritual life, and yet the world is on fire and I see very few of us yogis moving to put it out. I feel this to be an unacceptable. And right now, it’s in our face in a way it has never been before. I believe that the recent murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd, the racist terrorism of Amy Cooper, and the global coronavirus pandemic are all results of a world that desperately needs to cultivate an honest Yoga practice. And I, for one, am here to answer the call.
To even begin to do my part, I must admit that for far too long I have believed that because I "practiced" and "taught" yoga that I was "not a part of the problem" that is white supremacy. I thought that because I vote blue and have conversations with my white family and friends in which I strongly advocate for BIPOC that there was no way that I could possibly be a racist.
I now understand that while I may not be an intentional racist, I have been complicit in racism my entire life, and I need to not only address and apologize for that, but I must make aggressive and sustained changes now. It cannot wait. I'm already late.
To those of you who have suffered and continue to suffer consistently because of the entrenched and multi-faceted poison that is racism: I am so, so sorry that my ignorance and insufficient action has been part of the problem.
“I'm sorry for the times I have not taken responsibility for my privilege or felt like I was "doing enough" when I was clearly not doing anywhere near enough.”
I'm sorry for the times I have not taken responsibility for my privilege or felt like I was "doing enough" when I was clearly not doing anywhere near enough. I have no interest in making excuses or begging for sympathy or empathy. I simply want to do better.
And what doing better looks like to me begins with openly, publicly changing my relationship with the yoga practice, and with my role as a "yoga teacher."
I no longer think it is enough to have 1,000+ hours of training and over a decade of teaching experience if that training and that experience exists only in relation to specific spaces and specific ideologies. What I teach in a studio space, or in the privacy of a home residence is only a very small portion of what I actually teach.
How I live my life, what I choose to value, to whom I choose to listen and support (both implicitly or explicitly)-- how I show up-- is by and large what is most influential about my teaching.
And I have been ignorantly teaching some pretty harmful things. I've taught that dishonoring yoga tradition to become more commercially viable is okay. I've taught that thinness and white beauty standards are the imperative traits for the success of yoga teachers. I've taught that it's okay to take advantage of new yoga teachers and yoga teachers in general. I've taught that competition-mindset is necessary. And I've taught all of this while claiming (and, in many instances, really believing) that I was teaching the opposite. And again, I'm sorry.
“I used to take it as a compliment when people told me, ‘you look like a yoga teacher. I don’t anymore.”
I used to take it as a compliment when people told me, "you look like a yoga teacher." I don’t anymore. Now, I understand the cultural appropriation, racism, sexism, and prejudice that statement actually conveys. I can no longer take it as a compliment. To do so would be teaching white supremacy-- not yoga.
Comments like these need to be examined and spoken to. They have the ability to spark a critical conversation about the ways capitalism and dominant culture can take a sacred practice and turn it into a fetishized fad. I am disappointed in myself for buying in and devaluing a practice for which I have so much respect. I deeply believe in the power of Yoga, and I still feel (maybe now more than ever) that teaching Yoga is my life's work.
Yet, I find myself getting caught up in the hype. My whiteness has always been on display and has fed into a dominant cultural narrative that Yoga (both as a practice and as a profession) is "white people shit."
I never wanted to be an Instagram model, corporate saleswoman, or brand ambassador. I have just always really, really wanted to spend my time sharing the practice of Yoga with others. And I saw the yoga teachers who were most sought after, followed, and "successful" were these white, thin, pretty, middle/upper class white women. So I tried to be like them.
It seemed to me that commercialized and culturally appropriated yoga was the only yoga people were interested in. I thought I had to fit in. I thought if I didn't conform, focus more on fitness, look cute in tight clothes, and self-promote endlessly that people would have no interest in what I had to say.
“What I see now, is that like much of America, yoga studios are owned almost exclusively by white capitalists who want to make money by selling a product (and in the “wellness” industry, what is being sold is the body of a sexy white woman).”
What I see now, is that like much of America, yoga studios are owned almost exclusively by white capitalists who want to make money by selling a product (and in the “wellness” industry, what is being sold is the body of a sexy white woman). I realize now that it wasn't necessarily that people didn't want a different type of yoga experience-- it just wasn't being offered.
I can't change the color of my skin. Nor can I change the fact that I am petite and naturally thin. Nor do I own a studio and have the power to hire BIPOC teachers to diversify what Yoga looks like in America (well, at least not yet!). But I do have the power to change how I show up. I can change my belief (and the actions that have stemmed from the belief) that my whiteness and my commercial sex appeal is the only way in which I can be a successful Yoga teacher.
In fact, the very whiteness that makes me commercially viable in a capitalist system is what makes it so hard for me to actually teach Yoga. I have chosen economic viability over humanity because I was born into a system that makes it easy (and also pleasant) to do so. I have remained silent when I should have spoken up, fearing I could lose a class or a client.
I did not understand that there is indescribable privilege in losing a job or a client, because it means that I had something (other than my life) to lose in the first place. It devastates me even now that I could be so worried about losing a job, when Black communities are (and have been for centuries) losing their lives.
“I now see that without dismantling whiteness I cannot legitimately , authentically teach Yoga.”
And I now see that this will not change unless we all decide to actively dismantle whiteness. I now see that without dismantling whiteness I cannot legitimately , authentically teach Yoga.
When I speak of dismantling whiteness, I don't mean harming or hurting white people. None of what I aim to do refers to or requires violence at all. In fact, I believe that dismantling whiteness not only liberates BIPOC, but white people (like myself) as well.
Whiteness is a social construct designed to perpetuate violence, create false narratives, plunder, propagate oppressive ideologies and policies, and hoard power. Because of this, whiteness directly contradicts the teachings and ethics of the Yoga practice. Whiteness can only sustain in an unnaturally oppressive world of hierarchy based on the illusion of independence and self-sufficiency— the belief that a nation or society or individual does not need others to survive. Yoga, conversely, recognizes that all life is intertwined; not only the survival but the ability to thrive requires a balanced, cooperative world of community and inclusive equality.
“No matter how much material wealth it offers, I do not want a privileged existence that demands the lives and humanities of others as a sacrifice.”
I do not want to live in an artificial world of hierarchy where those of us with the lightest skin are deemed worthy of "living our best lives" while those of us with the darkest skin are often times not even recognized as deserving basic human rights. No matter how much material wealth it offers, I do not want a privileged existence that demands the lives and humanities of others as a sacrifice. I know I could never be at peace in that world. I honestly don't think that world allows peace for anyone who lives in it.
I truly believe we are capable of a better way of life. I believe we can cultivate connection, and honor the inherent interdependence of our existence with mutual dignity and respect. I suggest that we choose to care for not only our own bodies, energies, minds, hearts, spirits, but for those whose bodies, energies, minds, hearts, spirits have for so long been (and continue to be) discarded and forgotten.
In order to do this, we must abolish the idea that some bodies, energies, minds, hearts, and spirits are disposable or inherently inferior. Until Black lives matter, all lives, by definition, do not matter.
“This world of hierarchy (the present state of affairs in which we find ourselves) is a traumatizing system with an extremely troubling and painful history, and it's continued existence is problematic and will only perpetuate unnecessary suffering.”
This world of hierarchy (the present state of affairs in which we find ourselves) is a traumatizing system with an extremely troubling and painful history, and it's continued existence is problematic and will only perpetuate unnecessary suffering. In other words, we have planted sour seeds, and we cannot expect anything to grow from them but sour fruit.
I get how hard this is to accept. I find myself feeling wave upon wave of guilt, shame, grief, and hopelessness for having been complicit (largely unknowingly) in such a harsh system and culture for so long. But I am also hopeful; I see people everywhere (of every race, gender, sexual orientation, socio-economic class, etc.) standing up for change and taking responsibility for the small corner of the world in which they have great power (mainly in the way they as individuals think, speak, and act).
I see planning, organization, and determination to leave behind a cruel world and journey towards a more loving world-- a more authentic and inclusive world. I see so many of us excited to dismantle a system that, though it may provide us with material and intellectual satisfaction, does not feed our souls. I see many of us looking for a new path forward.
And while I believe the paths are many, there is one path in particular in which I personally have unshakable faith. It's the path I've dedicated myself to studying, practicing, and teaching-- the path of Yoga.
“In perhaps its most potent form, the path of Yoga is a process of personal evolution-- a step-by-step practice that requires disciplined action, self-awareness, and the humble dedication to always doing the work.”
In perhaps its most potent form, the path of Yoga is a process of personal evolution-- a step-by-step practice that requires disciplined action, self-awareness, and the humble dedication to always doing the work. It is through this very process, in all it's vulnerability, pain, rawness, ugliness, and eventual redemptive bliss that we heal ourselves, and realize our full potential as human beings. And that is what this practice ultimately intends to give us-- a path of healing that allows us to do our own unique, individual part in a collective journey towards a deeper way to live, a truer way to live.
“We are dying because we are empty, objectified, and removed from our humanity because we over-value ego and under-value community.”
This work is challenging. It requires us to face ourselves in an unconditionally honest way. And it can hurt-- VERY much, sometimes. But it must be done, because it heals our hearts. And our hearts need to heal, because our bodies (both our individual human form and our collective home of the earth) are dying. We are dying because of systematic racism. We are dying because capitalism prioritizes growth and profit over well-being and health. We are dying because we are empty, objectified, and removed from our humanity because we over-value ego and under-value community.
We will not survive if we do not evolve. We cannot continue to kill each other. We cannot continue to kill our mother, the earth, from which we came and who gives us life.
It can seem daunting at times— impossible even. I stand here with you, feeling the heaviness of this moment in our human history. But we can do it. We have overcome before, and we can always do it again.
We just need to remember to employ the tools that make the job easier to do. We need to use compassion, now more than ever. We need to use courage, now more than ever. We need to use strength, now more than ever.
It would be nice if we could all the do work exactly at the same time and in one quick fix and just be done with it, but we can't. We are too diverse— we all have different work we need to do. Our healing will not look the same.
There are times when we must heal on our own, privately, and in our own time. For those times, I offer you testimony. As a fellow yogi who is walking through the fire and often wading through the tears and grief, I can assure you that you can come out on the other side. You can come out lighter, more understanding, more willing to keep doing the work.
“You matter to me. Your body, energy, mind, heart, and spirit matter to me, and I want to be of service to you in anyway I can.”
There are also times when we need to heal together. When we need to look in each others' eyes, hold each others' hands, speak and listen to each others' voices. For those times, I offer you my presence and my attention. You matter to me. Your body, energy, mind, heart, and spirit matter to me, and I want to be of service to you in anyway I can.
I also want to say that if you read this and no longer feel connected to me as a yoga teacher, I honor that. There are so many others out there doing powerful work. Especially those of you who are BIPOC/BIWOC, I understand that there are aspects of your experience I am not qualified to speak to.
Here is a short list of some phenomenal BIPOC/BIWOC Yoga teachers whom I cannot thank enough for the ways they have inspired and taught me, and I would love everyone who reads this to check them out:
Jessamyn Stanley
For those of you who feel like sticking around-- thank you. It is an honor, a privilege, and a pleasure to explore the practice of Yoga with you. I have some very exciting and new offerings I am working on (spoiler alert-- I'm starting a podcast!).
I'll be around if you need me. Thank you for reading, for practicing, and for showing up for the evolution.
The human in me bows to the human in you,
Daniela
Hello, I’m Daniela
I’m am LA-based yoga nerd and Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher (E-RYT-500) who specializes in private instruction, injury prevention and management, and optimizing athletic performance. When I’m not re-reading Patañjali’s Yogasūtra on the beach, you can find me conducting qualitative reproductive justice research as a PhD student at the USC Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism, belting out Shakira at karaoke night, or loudly cheering on the Chargers and Lakers.